All those commercials you see about depression always make it sound like you have to be stuck in bed and want to kill yourself in order to be depressed. I could always function (get up, go to school/work, do what I had to do) and never felt like I was suicidal, so I never even considered that I had depression. To me, people with depression sat around trying to kill themselves.
My earliest memories involve bawling my eyes out. The sad thing is, I grew up in a very loving home with loving parents and a brother. My family was amazing (still is!) and, though we were not well off, we had no hardships. There was no abuse, no neglect, no reason for me to go to bed and cry at night. Looking back, I feel so bad for what I put my family through, but they had no idea either - so I should really try to let that guilt go one of these days.
I am one of the lucky ones who has been depressed since I was born. I have no underlying reason for my depression, it's just the way it is. Thinking about all the crying I've done for no reason in my life is overwhelming! And tiring.
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